Monday, May 5, 2008

The dance of not doing

The red clover is filling out the parking strip nicely. These are the first types of flowers that'll bloom in this space over the next few months.

Since this short strip abuts a 'STOP' sign there is no parking allowed, so the past two years I've planted it with wildflower seeds to beautify the corner.

To Do or Not to Do

One of the biggest challenges feldenkrais practitioners run into is the concept of not-doing. Most of us come from health and or medical fields and are used to doing something to someone, or working on someone, or otherwise being the expert of someone elses experience.

But what if we looked at it from a different perspective?

No one can know you better than yourself. And to use this to it's greatest success it's in our best interest (feldenkrais practitioners) to find a way for you to become more connected to yourself.

Another way of saying it could be: To Do or to Be.

If I can be with you I'll have a better chance of figuring out how you do something than if I just do stuff to you. To be with someone forces me to set aside any agenda I may have or preconceived notions of what 'should' be done to you.

This helps set the stage for learning, when the student realizes there is a two-way communication going on. To do something to someone implies a one-way to you. Sure I have moments when I just want to put someone in a posture I feel would be better for them, but this would take away any sense on their part that they're part of the solution.

When was the last time you touched or talked to someone without trying to impose your agenda upon them? Without trying to fix their problems?

Going through a 6 year disease process with my late wife I came face-to-face with many well-meaning people that were trying to tell us what to do. Not only was this unsolicited advice but it also made us feel at times as if we couldn't do anything right or that there was a 'reason' for this disease and if we would just try out their latest treatment everything would then be fine.

The unknown violence we cause in others lives by trying to help them....doing it to them.

Take a moment when with your loved ones or friends (or most importantly...yourself) to just be with them, happy that they're part of your life, and perfect the way they are. Of course you have better ideas of how they should be, but try keeping it to yourself.

For more on the Feldenkrais Method® you can go to:

Erik LaSeur

Guild Certified Feldenkrais Teacher®

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